Dwight Schrute
What's My Perfect Crime?
I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down a woman tells me to stop. It's Tiffany, this is her father's business. I say, "No."
We make love all night. In the morning the cops come, I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico. I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides I like the cold.
Thirty years later I get a post card. I have a son, he's the chief of police. This is where it gets interesting.
I tell her to meet me in Paris near the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these year. Never taken another lover.
But I don't meet her. Instead I go to Berlin. That's where I stash the chandelier.
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